Thursday, April 14, 2016

Today a free soul sat next to me

(To Grégoire)

Today a free soul sat next to me. An old free bird with white plastic bags full of things. Like the heavy sandbags that keep a balloon from flying up, straight to the outer space, not so heavy to force it into landing.

Today an old bird sat next to me and told me things that I would have wanted to tell, had I been an older version of myself, sitting next to a younger me on a sunny corner of a nowhere-café. He mistook me with a French writer from the 18th century and I mistook him with "nobody". He laughed when he talked about Zola, and he got over-excited when he expressed his love for André Gide. He got angry when he remembered how Nazis confiscated Nietzsche, and he cried when he talked about crying.

Today a free naked soul crashed into the asphalt and broke his cheekbones. He was all dusty and his white feathers were full of dirt and his body was full of scars and his words were full of blood. We knew how to speak pain. So we did. Bare and simple. Like two mirrors reflecting the mirror-ness of each other into each other without projecting anything. Without wanting to project anything.

Today nobody sat next to me. And I found peace in the equilibrium between two access points. One the sadness of looking at this past in a far future, and one the happiness of being aware of this passage.

Thursday, March 3, 2016

نگتیو یه نیمه شب پر ستاره

واسه دیدن آسمون پر ستاره شب وسط روز یه راهی پیدا کردم. میام سراغت. تو پشت به من وایسادی تو قاب پنجره. خم شدی رو هره ش. دستتو پایه کردی زیر چونه و آسمون آبی تیرماه و نگا می کنی. از پشت یواشی دو لبه ی آزاد پیرهنتوکه فقط با یه تکمه زیر موهات بهم وصلن می زنم کنار. مث دو لنگه ی پرده تور. پوست سفیدت پر از خال های ریز و درشته... انگار یه عصری دمر و تاپ لس رو چمن خوابت برده باشه و از آسمون شکلات آب شده باریده باشه روت. پوست تنت میشه خودش یه پنجره ی کوچیک به نگتیو آسمون یه نیمه شب پر ستاره. با بک گراند سفید و نقطه های سیاه. سرمو می کشم تو و نفس عمیق می کشم...  بوی یاس و برگای خیس گلدون میاد. اینجا حیاط خلوت دنجمه. یه secret garden . پر پیچک با تا دو تا صندلی برا نشستن و تماشای ستاره های شکلاتی. کممه. دست و پامم می کشم از قاب پشتت تو و میرم می شینم رو یکی از اون صندلی ها و سیگاری روشن می کنم تا بیای.